Ramblings...10/16/2012

Where do I start? I've never really thought about starting a blog before, never really thought about sharing my experiences.  I guess I never thought I am interesting or entertaining enough that someone would want to read what I have to say.

A very dear friend of mine blogs here and I followed her, thought I would give it a try and see what happens.

My Master and I have been in contact for a while, when we met there was no thought of "one day I'm gong to be his slave".  He was someone that I felt like I could talk to, could tell him anything and everything that I wanted, and even a few things that I didn't want to tell anyone.  I told him my darkest secrets (who am I trying to kid...lol...they weren't that dark..more like a shade of light grey) and deepest desires.  I no longer have any secrets from him, I find it impossible not to tell him everything, and now he seems to know my desires before I do.

I'm still surprised once in a while when I tell him something shyly, thinking that I'm telling him something he doesn't know and he gives me a small grin and says "yes pet, I know".

I'm still able to surprise him once in a while, I've recently been able to start saying what I'm thinking.  I used to have a bit of an issue with that...a lot of an issue actually.  I could say anything to him in a text or a message, but when it came to face to face...I lost my voice.  Even after he had expressed his wishes of hearing what I want, hearing me beg, hearing me say anything, I just couldn't seem to do it.  It was like two sides of the same coin.

What changed?

I was able to spend a weekend with him a couple months ago.  Spending that much time with him made the coin disappear.  There were not two sides any more.  There was just one, just Master.  Since then I am shocked at what I say sometimes, but no longer have issues with trying to talk myself into talking. lol

Shortly after he collared me, I decided that I wanted to have no limits with him.  It wasn't something that he required or even requested.  We had not even talked about my giving up my limits to him.  It was something that I felt that I knew I trusted him, I know he would never harm me, I know that even though he will push me, he will always be there to care for me if I fall.

We do not have as much time together as I would like, but I am thankful for the time that I have.  Many people looking in may feel that TPE isn't possible if we don't live together.  I disagree.  Every decision I make has what he would want in mind.  He and I talk off and on all day long and are in pretty constant contact.  Even when he is gone I message him to let him know what I'm up to.  It's not a requirement, rather I know that he likes to know what I'm doing, where I'm going and I love telling him.

Slavery and ownership doesn't always have to be visible to the eye.  It's a state of mind, how you feel in your heart.